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Labyrinthum Inbox.
BLACK CAT
[un: gatto]
(note: cat is unfamiliar with this level of technology/accessible communication, and icly takes a bit of time to respond.)
(for action, he lives in a smaller than
average hill house.)
. action | text | voice | video .
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Just tell me whatever it is that you might be hiding. Don't keep it held in if it's going to make you ill.
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I had a good conversation with my Firefly and I'm on the mend.
[More complicated than "good" if he's being technical, but...he's still glad. So it was good.]
Anything you feel like telling me? :3
I can't imagine you with a flower in your lungs, but you've never failed to surprise me before. So?
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...Don't make up your own strange names.
[Anyway.]
When you say firefly, that's Inigo, yeah?
[That... does make sense. That he would go to Inigo for that, all things considered. He's definitely not feeling some kind of way about not being considered a viable option for truth-telling.
Isn't there someone you forgot to confide in, Cat??]I guess it's fine, if you've really told him everything you need to.
I don't have anything myself. Why would I need to keep any secrets?
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Yeah that's Inigo.
[Maybe he should stop playing around like this, as fun as it still was after everything. It would probably be better for both Fang Duobing and Inigo.]
Figured.
I'm aware that if you did have something you have your people to go to. No need to have checked I suppose.
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[He doesn't quite catch on that his awkwardness has caused a misunderstanding, and it certainly wouldn't be the first between them. But the latter part of Cat's message sounds so strangely like Inigo that it gives him pause.]
[He didn't think he'd have to tell this to Cat of all people, but...]
You do know that includes you, right?
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[How to politely say 'it's not the same'... Wait, why does he have to be concerned about being polite? There's not much point in manipulating Fang Duobing outside of overt not-requests that intentionally show his hand, and that's more about protecting his own feelings with a joke.]
Your housemates are simply the obvious choice. It would be smart to go to them instead, and I know you're more intelligent than your loud mouth makes you seem at first haha.
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[Maybe he means it sincerely, or maybe he means it dismissively. It's difficult to tell through these little devices. He would have accepted them being the more convenient choice, sure. But the smarter one?...]
Yeah? What part of it makes it so obvious?
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Come on now, don't make me retract my compliment.
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[Li Lianhua is testament to that sometimes.]
Why don't you share something with me, for my peace of mind? Something you haven't told Inigo.
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(And he has to wonder what he means even before it. Attributing the comment to be about Li Lianhua is obvious, but was there anything more to it? ...No, there's no benefit to be had in finding something to hope for. Keep moving, Cat.)]
Alright...
Something light or something heavy?
Pick your poison, friend.
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[It feels a little weird to choose the heaviness of the secret, but did that part really matter? Did the disease care about light or heavy things?]
[And so much for telling Inigo everything, if he can think up two things that quickly! He feels satisfaction in being right--that Cat would squirrel away a few secrets to keep to himself... And a little exasperated. He was right to be worried, clearly.]
Whichever feels more pressing. I don't actually know if the severity matters.
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What to tell him, then...]
I'm very good at cracking lobsters :)
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[He was honestly expecting a little more... Something with that admission. More gravity maybe?]
Is that really a secret, or just an unmentioned skill? I doubt this disease would bother with that, unless you're about to tell me the lobsters were cultivated spirits.
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I'm fresh out of deep dark secrets, I told you.
There are unhappy or strange things I don't much talk about but Firefly got the last of what I was intentionally keeping from folks
And cultivated or not, if I'm hungry and there's a lobster, there's only one way that's going to go
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Anyway, I do find it hard to believe that you're not hiding something else.
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What happened to not judging me huh?
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I also said that wasn't a secret. I haven't broken my word.
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What is it you're angling for here?
Imagine our places our swapped for a moment and you've got me pestering you for a secret instead.
You say there's nothing, but you're a shady cat! You must be lying! Bau bau bau!
What will you say to satisfy me?
Go on, tell me what you're hiding.
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[Still, the response is slower to come back this time. There's an emotion to grapple with that he doesn't know how to voice. The idea that he might not be as high on Cat's list of confidantes as he would like. That there are things he might now tell Inigo, but not him. That his companionship with Cat has somehow lessened in some way in the past few months--perhaps because of him.]
I didn't mean it like that. I don't think you're shady. You play things close to your chest. Li Lianhua does the same, and I've chosen not to mind it. But I've seen how dangerous that is right now.
I shouldn't have pressed you. If you say there's nothing else, then I'll believe you. I just didn't want you to think you had to suffer alone. Especially after you've just started to feel better.
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I'm not him.
[A familiar sentiment. A breaking point. The response to it before had led Cat into a whole mess that was still causing trouble now. He wishes he could change his feelings on the matter.
Anyway...]
My sense of self-preservation is much healthier than I am. I wouldn't let this be the end of me if there's no good to come of it.
I've gone through too much for that.
You're avoiding the question, though. Bau bau bau!! Tell me something!
I insist.
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[As if he could have forgotten the argument that started all of this... Cat can protest all he likes, but that doesn't change the fact that they share some aspects of their personality--and that Fang Duobing has learned how to deal better with Cat through the lessons Li Lianhua had taught him.]
[He'll at least accept that Cat has given him less grief about throwing his chances to live away. He's grateful that he doesn't have to endure that in a friend a second time. The first one already broke his heart, and it took too long to put everything back together again.]
... I'm not avoiding anything, I thought you were being rhetorical.
I've been told that I don't have much to tell because I tell everything all too willingly. What are you even looking for? Pick your poison, as you said.
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Am I not allowed to ask for real too? I was asked multiple times after all. Bau bau bau.
[It might be part of his point, but...he's curious, too.]
Something on the same level of whatever it is you'd like to hear from me.
I don't like bad trades.
Consider my lobster fact tossed in for free.
If there's nothing, then there's nothing.
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[It's starting to get on his nerves, and he doesn't want to be angry at Cat. He can endure some good-natured (or slightly less than) jabs about his loud personality, but he came here with good intentions. Can't he be appreciated for that? Or at least cut a little slack?]
I already said you weren't shady, but why do I feel like I'm being extorted? If you don't want to say, then don't say. If you want to ask, then ask. Our friendship is more than a transaction, isn't it?
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There's definitely no chance of an affectionate nickname now, he supposes.]
Nevermind
[There was nothing wrong with a little give-and-take when it came to friendship. Wasn't that more than only taking? Didn't anyone see it for what it was: an opportunity?
He doesn't feel the tickle of petals in his throat again, but he's tired. He's lost his appetite for both food and knowledge.]
Like I said, if there's nothing you want to know, you don't need to trouble yourself with coming up with something.
Thanks for your concern.
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[When you make space for others, you leave space for yourself. Maybe this too was what his mother had meant.]
You asked about my name before, didn't you? I didn't explain then because it was complicated, but I can tell you now. You've met my mother, so to speak, so I know you won't speak badly of her.
Duobing means many illnesses. I was extremely sickly when I was born. My mother was so afraid that I might die that she didn't want to name me properly. She'd lost her sister recently, and her heart couldn't bear it if she grew attached and lost me too.
As I grew older, that fear abated, and my family called me Xiaobao. Treasure. They felt it was kinder and more appropriate, but I don't mind the one I was given. Like I said before, it reminds me how far I've come.
I'm not sharing this because I want anything. Rather, I don't want to be unfair to you.
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